my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
