I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
