Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
