Umm I'm too high to move.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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