So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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