For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
