if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
