Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
