So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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