I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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