I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
