the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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