pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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