i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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