She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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