it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
