Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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