just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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