U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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