It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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