Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
time to smoke my breakfast
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
