Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just gift wrapped bread.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
