he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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