sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
