how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
