I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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