and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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