I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You ruined the universe
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
