So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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