the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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