No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
