He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
