They should really pass out barf bags in church
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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