Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
