just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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