This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
