doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
