So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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