I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize