My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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