she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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