I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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