South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
