He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
