I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
His nipple licking is glorious
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