so that wasnt chicken after all
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
