I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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