I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
In other news, I just burned my penis
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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