i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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