sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
