Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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